Phoenix flight to Atlanta....

My alarm was set for 4:00am but I didn't need to set it.  Last night, Lynn my husband, surprised me with a Venti Soy Latti. It wasn't decaf!!!.... My eyes were open laser beams all night. I slept for 45 minutes and my alarm went off.  Lack of sleep gives me shakes. I walked into my closet, felt the wall for the light switch and turned it on. There was a flash and the light bulb burned out. Who in the hell has time to get a ladder and change a bulb when they have a plane to catch?  I think rule number one is...no ladders at 4:00am, especially with lack of sleep and the fact that I am half blind without my glasses. But I needed to be in the closet to find my passport as another piece of I.D. There might be questions asked from TSA about my blond to black hair. I'm in a bad mood.... because I'm ready to sleep now and I can't.

The plane out of Phoenix had a 15 minute late start...Not good... I only had 55 minutes between the connection in Atlanta. Now its 40 minutes. The guy next to me said the pilot will make up the time...not to worry. The stewardess was no help..she was eyeing my bag under the seat in front of me. It was exposed by a few inches and it was bothering her.
"Can that bag go farther under the seat?"
"No."
"Then it will have to go on top or checked in."
"My important stuff is in here...wallet...passport..books...I need it right here."
"Well, it is not within regulation."
"Well...its been on many flights before...within regulation." .......................(bitch)....
The guy next to me said,"Lets turn it around......maybe it fits better the other way." 
Turning the bag aound made no difference but thankfully the pilot announced we were clear for take off. Which means..I was hoping the bitch flight attendant would take her seat...

The plane was in the air and down the aisle comes the beverage cart....and guess who's pushing it?  The question of Coffee...Tea... or Me???? is not asked anymore...  Thankfully...
I'm thinking...I better be nice..suck up time... because I am too tired to go another round with her.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"Yes, thank you. Can I have two glasses of water, no ice, to pour into my glass bottle?"
"Sure.  In fact, just give me your bottle and I will pour it in for you."
"OH, GOOD IDEA...THANK YOU," and I smiled. She probably didn't want two thousand miles of me either.

I also ordered the "Flight Delight."  It has nothing to do with the mile high club. It was a box with goodies. Pita crackers, hummus, almonds, apricots and a cookie. I had 40 minutes between planes so this box sounded like a good idea. This box, however; had a plastic skrink wrap that was so tight. I tried to bite the corner and pull. I worked long enough at it to consider throwing it over everyones head aiming at my bitch friend.  Just a consideration. Keep in mind, YOU CAN'T BOARD THE PLANE WITH ANYTHING SHARP.  Feeling like a genius, I used the end that plugs in my ear phones.  Please store that piece of info in your brain when that happens to you because it worked like a charm.
The guy next to me said, "Good idea."

My earphones were on and I started watching Food Network, on a post card size screen, on the seat in front of me. Squeezing hummus on a cracker was enjoyable. One after another...until...plop. I missed the cracker and a glob of hummus fell on the seat. THANKFULLY..my legs were apart. I learned leg position long ago..maybe hence the term "Flight Delight".  The guy next to me acted like he did not notice when I had to go after it and clean it up.

The plane landed on time at terminal A and my departing plane was at terminal D. Atlanta airport is a busy airport and  I wasted no time running down the halls, down the escalator and to the train.  The train doors
were open and there stood wall to wall people.  The train will NOT leave without me, I thought.
I squeezed my body in, waiting for people to shift and yelled, "This door isn't closing with my ass in the way."
A few people moved and we were a tight fit.
Oh God...I hope my flight to Michigan is better.