Sunday Real Estate

If there was ever a round the clock, time consuming occupation it was selling REAL ESTATE.  I know first hand....  When I drive down a street, turn a corner and see a real estate OPEN HOUSE sign...I get a cold chill up my spine.  I creep past the house, bow my head and make the sign of the cross.  Because in that house an agent is counting the minutes away when they can turn off all forty lights, pick up their set up sheets, and blank purchase agreements and get the hell out.

I spent many Sunday's at the dreaded Open House. Food and drink were the first things I packed. The thought of being hungry or thirsty, knowing I had two more hours is added punishment.  For entertainment I grabbed a book or two... I never thought it tasteful for a client to walk in and hear a television.    

I can imagine a, "Saturday Night Live" skit.  The realtor is sitting on the couch, watching television. The clients walk in, stand by the couch, look around in disbelief, then look at the television and  SIT DOWN NEXT TO THE REALTOR.

With all eyes staring at the television...this is Sunday and there is a football game on. 
"Hi....you guys looking for a 4 bedroom?"
"Ah..yes..and at least 2 bathrooms... Oh damn..he fumbled the ball...idiot."
"Hell..he was just as bad when he played against Tampa Bay.  There are 2 1/2 baths and plumbing in the basement for another 1/2 bath. And yes 4 big bedrooms."
"They should have traded him when they had the chance.  Is the garage big enough for a tool bench? Damn I'm hungry."
"Its a great over sized garage with a built in tool bench, a rack to hang your smaller stuff  and lots of storage..... I will see if I can find some chips and dip."
"Run you son of a bitch...go...go..go.. good..goood...yeah.... OH NO...right at the 10 yard line.... yeah chips and dip..and a beer?"
"I'm bringing it and good news...they've lowered the price."
"What's the price? We are trying to sell our house, we think we have a buyer, but need every dime out in order to purchase ...thanks for the beer, chips and dip."

"Honey"...the wife says..."I walked through the house and I love it...The laundry room is upstairs by the bedrooms."
"Oh, this is a great floor plan....the owners will miss that feature. Dirty clothes and clean clothes near the bedrooms where it should be."
 "Great...he made the extra point.... OK ...Its half time..lets hurry home so I can watch it..and DO YOU HAVE A SALES CARD?"